It's raining tonight....it often rains when I am sad, it's as if the skies, my long lost friend, don't want me to cry alone, they too shed some tears, just to make me feel ok.
The streets are wet and empty, the trees are all washed, a simple act of nature makes a sordid and overcrowded city appear so beautiful and lonely, just like me, by day I am surrounded by people, colleagues, friends and patients, but I do my crying all alone, in the dark of the night. The clouds have done their thundering, the heavy storm is gone, only a steady drizzle is falling now, and it falls not on only on the parched Earth, it also falls on my parched heart, the raindrops remind me that my afflictions, my shortcomings, my wickedness shall vanish one day with my mortal frame, and one day I will once again be part of all that is good and innocent.
Why do I love the rain so much? when to others it's just a nuisance?, when they shut their windows to it why do I open mine?.......because it takes me back to my childhood, when everything in this world was magical, Mom and dad were the greatest people on Earth, and I was convinced somehow that I was God's special child. I remember still, being so little, gettig drenched in the rain, and staring at the skies above and wondering where all that water came from, I used to spend hours and hours in my silent contemplation, I remember opening my books and reading a poem, the words of which elude me now except for "pitter patter rain drops", and looking at pictures of men and women with their umbrellas, I remember Rainy days at school, I remember coming back home from school, all wet and mum creating a fuss over me, I remember playing with my sister and brother, Oh how I long for those days, I will never be 3,6,14 or even 16 again, I will never feel the careless joy of being a kid playing in the rain with the best playmates ever again, but everytime it rains atleast for one fleeting moment, I can recall distinctly what it was like to have been so sacred, so hopeful, so content and so very happy, without having been slightly aware of it at the time.........and that is all that I need today.
The streets are wet and empty, the trees are all washed, a simple act of nature makes a sordid and overcrowded city appear so beautiful and lonely, just like me, by day I am surrounded by people, colleagues, friends and patients, but I do my crying all alone, in the dark of the night. The clouds have done their thundering, the heavy storm is gone, only a steady drizzle is falling now, and it falls not on only on the parched Earth, it also falls on my parched heart, the raindrops remind me that my afflictions, my shortcomings, my wickedness shall vanish one day with my mortal frame, and one day I will once again be part of all that is good and innocent.
Why do I love the rain so much? when to others it's just a nuisance?, when they shut their windows to it why do I open mine?.......because it takes me back to my childhood, when everything in this world was magical, Mom and dad were the greatest people on Earth, and I was convinced somehow that I was God's special child. I remember still, being so little, gettig drenched in the rain, and staring at the skies above and wondering where all that water came from, I used to spend hours and hours in my silent contemplation, I remember opening my books and reading a poem, the words of which elude me now except for "pitter patter rain drops", and looking at pictures of men and women with their umbrellas, I remember Rainy days at school, I remember coming back home from school, all wet and mum creating a fuss over me, I remember playing with my sister and brother, Oh how I long for those days, I will never be 3,6,14 or even 16 again, I will never feel the careless joy of being a kid playing in the rain with the best playmates ever again, but everytime it rains atleast for one fleeting moment, I can recall distinctly what it was like to have been so sacred, so hopeful, so content and so very happy, without having been slightly aware of it at the time.........and that is all that I need today.
posted by Virgodoll @ 12:04 PM
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